So your study found that screen use increases suicide risk?

The more time kids spend using screens from ages 9 to 11 years old, the higher their odds of suicidal behaviors two years later, at ages 11 to 13. Specifically, each additional hour of screen time increased the risk by 9%. The risk was highest with texting, followed by video chatting, watching videos, and playing video games. Social media didn’t show an effect, but that may be because, technically, kids aren’t allowed to be on social media platforms until they are 13 (though some still are), so we didn’t have as much data there.

What does “suicidal behavior” mean?

It means thinking about suicide, with or without a specific plan, as well as attempting suicide. We weren’t able to separate attempts versus types of thoughts in this study. I should also note that, overall, suicidal behavior was uncommon in these young kids, occurring in just 1.38% of the 11,633 kids we studied. The risk of suicidal behavior tends to increase with age, so this could be seen as an early warning sign.

Why does screen time increase suicidal behavior?

Time spent on screens often displaces time spent on in-person socializing, physical activity and sleep – all of which are good for mental health. Screen usage can lead to cyberbullying, poor eating habits, isolation and disrupted sleep – all of which can worsen mental health. It also increases exposure to potentially anxiety-provoking or otherwise distressing content.

Is all screen time bad for tweens?

Screens can be helpful in some cases, like for kids who, say, are LGBTQ and don’t have real-life access to support, and to stay in touch with friends and family who live far away. I’d say it’s about being thoughtful about how kids engage with screens and keeping an eye on what they consume.

What can parents do to help kids use screens safely?

It’s important for parents to do what’s developmentally appropriate. For older teens, it’s about giving advice. With younger children, preteens and young teens, it makes sense to have a more hands-on approach, like using parental controls and keeping them off social media until they are 13. This time, during early adolescence, is when you set the behaviors that will help kids develop healthy screen habits later on.

What healthy screen habits do you recommend for tweens?

• Avoid screens before bedtime. We know screen use interferes with sleep, and good sleep is so important for mental health.
• Avoid snacking while using screens, to make eating more intentional; and no use of screens during family meals. That helps keep family time about connection, and also helps parents monitor their kids’ eating, which is important because screen overuse is connected to disordered eating, a mental health issue.
• Parents can also establish screen-free zones, like bathrooms and bedrooms. Kids are less likely to get into violent or harmful content in public spaces in the home.
• Parents should try to model all these behaviors for their kids, which can be the hardest part.

What questions are you still trying to answer about screen time and suicide risk?

One is whether screen use causes suicidality, or whether the increased odds of suicide is because kids who are already depressed are more prone to using screens. With this paper, we see a little more evidence that it’s screens leading to suicidal behavior, because we adjusted for mental health at baseline and we looked at the kids two years later.Another question is, how can we identify the 1% of kids who might tip into suicidality? We need to learn more about the type of content they consume and how it might play a role.

]]> https://thirdage.com/what-5-6-million-young-americans-have-in-common-with-prince-harry-and-why-it-matters/ Wed, 08 Mar 2023 05:00:00 +0000 https://thirdage.com/?p=3076787 Read More→]]> Like Prince Harry, one in thirteen US children – 5.6 million, or 7.7% – will experience the death of a parent or sibling before age 18. This 2022 calculation from the Children’s Bereavement Estimation Model marks an increase of 700,000 since it was first developed in 2018, reflecting higher death rates among people aged 27-46 from multiple causes including Covid. 

Grief may not be obvious, but the suffering is real. Imagine yourself at age 6 or 10 or 16 – or a child you love – losing a parent. Look around your community and realize that many young people are grieving. It’s a critical issue because the effects of a death permeate their entire life and can interfere with their development if unaddressed. 

Children grieve according to their age, but loss at any stage of growing up is an earthquake that irrevocably shifts the young person’s inner and outer terrain. Volunteering at a children’s grief center, I witness such struggles firsthand, evoking my own early mother loss that I wrote about in my memoir, The Art of Reassembly. 

In Their Hearts and Minds

The enormity of loss can be difficult for children to absorb, so their reactions may not look like what adults expect. Young children often go in and out of grief, crying one minute and then running outside to play the next, while older children may have lots of questions at times and withdraw at others. 

Grieving children of all ages often feel alone, the only one of their peers to have experienced a loss, and therefore different from all their friends and classmates. Whether they reveal it or not, fear is a significant aspect of grief for children and teens. They often worry about losing someone else. Who will take care of me now? What if someone else dies? Such anxieties may show up in trouble sleeping, separation anxiety, or new sensitivities to places or situations. 

Unfortunately, many young people are alone with their emotions. Adults around them may be too grief-stricken themselves or simply unaware that avoiding painful conversations only compounds the grief. For example, although telling a child the truth about how someone died may be very hard, honest information creates trust between child and adult. Children often perceive more than adults realize, so incomplete or vague explanations leave them more afraid or confused and sometimes feeling needlessly guilty. 

At Home

As a grieving young person grapples internally with big emotions, the parent’s death can necessitate outward changes in daily life, removing familiar stability. Besides their loss of a primary relationship, these changes create a cascade of loss in so many other areas of life that the parent touched. These secondary losses are especially painful for children, who usually have little control over such decisions.   

For example, when a parent who was the primary breadwinner dies, the other parent may have to resume working, which marks a big change. A new caregiver may come into the picture. Perhaps the house is no longer affordable, so a move becomes necessary, which might require a change of schools and loss of friends. Children who lose their only parent face even greater disruption, while even small changes that affect a once reliable routine can cause distress in a grieving child. 

Older children may suddenly be thrust into roles of responsibility for siblings or the household or even as emotional support for the surviving parent in the wake of the death. Constantly being stretched beyond their capacities – “parentified” – creates stress and anxiety. Children learn to ignore their own feelings in deference to others’ needs, and taking on adult concerns so young inhibits their ability to connect with peers so they miss out on normal activities. To have healthy adult relationships, these patterns often must be unlearned.

At School 

With so much churning within themselves and in their home life, it’s unsurprising that bereaved children may have difficulties with concentration, which leads to a decline in academic performance. Previously accomplished students can become discouraged if their grades fall. Students who struggled before the death are at further disadvantage. Either way, it’s school stress compounding grief. 

A study by the University of Pittsburgh found that children who lost a parent were more than twice as likely than nonbereaved kids to show impaired functioning at school and at home, even seven years later. This result held even after researchers adjusted for risk factors such as pre-existing mental health conditions. A 2019 review of population data found that children with parent loss were more likely to be expelled from school or repeat a grade, while they were less likely to be in a gifted program. 

Support Matters

Nothing can erase the pain of children’s grief, but having support makes a difference. It can take varied forms, and all of them are needed. Formal grief programs, where kids can interact with peers who also had a loss can be life changing. They dispel the isolation that young grievers feel. Informally, anyone who is in relationship to a grieving child can support them, by listening when they wish to talk and respecting their wishes when they don’t, also by sharing their own feelings and recollections of the person who died. 

Schools are well-positioned to support grieving young people, because that’s where they spend so much of their time. Caring adults like teachers and coaches can check in with the student and give then space to talk when they want to. They can also provide practical assistance in managing the demands of school while grieving. Administrators can proactively provide grief education to the whole school community and create supportive policies. Fortunately, grief awareness is growing in schools and  resources are available. 

Beyond Spare: A Role for Prince Harry

In the UK, Prince Harry is known for caring gestures toward grieving children, writing letters to kids who lost a parent in the military and offering comfort to young grievers he meets. In Spare, he shares the impact of losing his mother at 12 years old. In this next chapter of his life, it’s time for Prince Harry to step into the role of public spokesman for children’s grief support. 5.6 million children are counting on him. 

About 

Peg Conway writes and practices Healing Touch energy therapy in Cincinnati, OH, where she also volunteers at a children’s grief center. Her essays about early mother loss and long-term grieving have appeared at The Manifest-Station, the Cincinnati Enquirer, and The Mighty. After earning a master’s in journalism, she worked in corporate communications. Later, she became a certified childbirth educator and doula. Peg and her husband have three grown children and one grandchild. The Art of Reassembly: A Memoir of Early Mother Loss and Aftergrief is her first book.

Start Early

Over the summer, most families take their cues from the sun and stay up later. While it may be tempting to keep the late-night fun going up until the end, starting your school routine a few weeks early can help ease the transition back to school. Starting two to three weeks before the advent of school, begin going to bed and getting up close to when you need to for school, and try to eat on a more regular schedule as well. This advice isn’t just for little kids — teens and adults need quality sleep for proper functioning, and getting your plan straight now will help ensure that you all start the school year off more prepared and don’t feel as much anxiety over the advent of that first day. 

Give your child a preview 

Talk to your child about what they will be doing in the upcoming school year. If your child is starting school for the first time, see if there’s a kindergarten orientation or a way to meet their teacher before school begins. Whether they’re starting a new elementary school or going back to the same one, go explore it with your child. Review where their class will be, visit the cafeteria, the library or the art room. Take them to the playground (with a friend who’ll be going to their school, if possible) to help them adjust and feel comfortable at the school. Give your child a “preview” of the new faces and places they’ll be seeing. This can help to “right size” the school in your child’s mind and remove the fear and mystery. 

Shopping together for school supplies 

Shopping together for school supplies, and using the shopping trip as a time to talk about what to expect at school, can be a healthy way to keep a child talking. Parents should also try to connect their child with future classmates. “f a child knows someone who is going to be in the same classroom, that can greatly reduce their apprehension and fear of the unknown. 

Facilitate friendships.

Help prepare kids for school-year socializing by arranging a couple of playdates with classmates and reminding them that they’ll be seeing their familiar school friends again soon. 

Promote the positives

Field trips, old friends, new classes, sporting events, after-school activities. There’s plenty to get fired up about! Remind your child and the enthusiasm will be contagious. 

Sick of School — Literally 

Nervousness over heading back to class can make kids feel sick. They may complain of stomachaches, headaches, nausea and dizziness, especially on Sunday evenings after feeling well all weekend. If you observe potential symptoms of stress as the start of school approaches, I suggest having a candid conversation with your child. Don’t just accept “fine” if you ask your child, “How are you?” or, “How was your day?” Ask questions that can’t be answered “yes” or “no,” like, “How do you feel about returning to school?” Then, let them talk, and don’t try to fix what they say. 

When anxiety about school “masks” something else

Kids of any age who don’t want to go to school, or who want to avoid it, may be doing so because of a specific issue beyond general anxiety, worry or depression. Children who are bullied or teased often become anxious about going to school, and if the problem is not addressed, the anxiety will continue along with a host of other problems. Similarly, children who are avoiding school may be doing so because school is hard for them.School anxiety often emerges just before a child is diagnosed with a learning difficulty.”

Sanam Hafeez Psy.D

New York State Licensed Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend The Mind

www.comprehendthemind.com

Sanam Hafeez Psy.D is a New York City based Neuropsychologist and School Psychologist.  She is also the founder and director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. She is currently a teaching faculty member at Columbia University. Click here to see Dr. Hafeez on Dr.Oz: http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/do-smart-drugs-work-we-test-them-so-you-don-t-have?video_id=4518086514001

Dr. Hafeez graduated from Queens College, CUNY with a BA in psychology. She then went on to earn her Master of Science in Psychology at Hofstra University. Following that she stayed at Hofstra to receive her Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D.) She later completed her post-doctoral training in Neuropsychology and Developmental Pediatrics at Coney Island Hospital.

Dr. Hafeez’s provides neuropsychological educational and developmental evaluations in her practice. She also works with children and adults who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning disabilities, autism, attention and memory problems, trauma and brain injury, abuse, childhood development and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc…) In addition, Dr. Hafeez serves as a medical expert and expert witness by providing full evaluations and witness testimony to law firms and courts.

Dr. Hafeez immigrated to the United States from Pakistan when she was twelve years old. She is fluent in English, Urdu, Hindi and Punjabi (Pakistani and Indian languages.) She resides in Queens, New York with her husband and twin boys.

Honors and Publications:

–       April 2013 Main Speaker at Learning Disabilities Awareness Conference, New York City at Baruch College, CUNY

“Evaluating and Accommodating Students with Disabilities”

–       June 2008 Appointment to the New York City 18-B panel Assigned Counsel Plan

Appointed as a preferred and approved Neuropsychologist and Clinical Psychologist in the New York City Court System for low cost or pro bono criminal, civil and family law cases

–       January 2008 CUNY Proficiency Exam Waiver Position Paper

                                                Hafeez, S. (2008)

Commissioned by CUNY to advocate for the Learning Disabled population and the bias of the CUNY Assessment. 

Research based paper presented to the Board of CUNY Student Disabilities to waive requirement. 

–       1998-2000 Doctoral Fellowship, Hofstra University

*Awarded a stipend in exchange for a research assistant position with core faculty member

Clinical Experience:

Director and Founder February 2003-Present

Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services                                

• Provide quality monolingual and bilingual psychological, educational, neuropsychological and speech and language evaluations

• Early Intervention, Pre-School and School Age Special Education Services

• Awarded a competitive contract through bidding with the New York City Department of Education (NYC DOE)

• Awarded an assessment and interpreting contract with Putnam-Westchester BOCES

• Provide evaluations and services to college level students with educational disabilities

• Also provide occupational and physical therapy evaluations as well as therapeutic services in all areas. 

• Contract with school district and various agencies to provide evaluations and related services

• Provide neuropsychological, psychological and forensic evaluations for legal purposes to individuals, law firms, agencies and courts

Teaching Experience:

Faculty Appointment September 2011-Present

Columbia University, Teacher’s College, New York, NY

PhD program in Psychology

• Instruction of neuropsychological and cognitive testing measures (SB-5, WJ-III, WISC-IV, etc)

• Supervision and training of graduate students for clinical testing at university clinic

To answer those questions, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development has invited some of the world’s leading neuroscientists, clinicians, and researchers to share their top tips for making (and sticking to) New Year’s Resolutions for healthy media habits in 2022. Read on for helpful guidelines on screen time, sleep routines, device-free zones, family bonding, and more.

1. Encourage Family Bonding

Instead of focusing on screen time, develop New Year’s Resolutions that are positive and shared. Start by answering the question, “What do we want to do more of as a family?” Some examples might include game nights, hikes, or family dinners. Set fun, positive goals that can bond the family together and incidentally reduce screen time.  

– Meghan Owenz, Assistant Teaching Professor, PSU Berks and author of Spoiled Right: Delaying Screens and Giving Children What They Really Need. 

2. Monitor Screen Usage

Pay attention to smartphone usage through Screen Time (iPhone) or Digital Well-Being. Which apps does your child use the most? What’s the first app he/she opens after unlocking the phone? Which sites notify your child? Discuss weekly usage with the family. It’s not just the amount of screen time that you need to monitor, though. Research shows that using screens in the last hour before bedtime negatively affects sleep. The culprit is the blue light emitted by the screen, which lowers the release of melatonin (necessary for sleep) and increases the release of cortisol, which keeps you awake.
 
– Larry Rosen, Professor Emeritus CSU Dominguez Hills and co-author of The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World 
 
3. Establish Digital Boundaries 

As a family, establish your digital borders and boundaries with your children. Have discussions that expand on “how much” time children are spending online and also consider where they’re using devices, when they’re using devices, what devices and platforms they can use, with whom they’re interacting online and how they’re using devices to ensure that their physical health and mental wellbeing are optimized.
 
– Kristy Gooodwin, PhD, researcher, speaker and author of Raising Your Child in a Digital World

​​4. Set Screen-Free Family Meals

When it comes to resolutions, bigger isn’t always better.  Setting a detailed, doable digital goal that can become a habit is the way to make a change that lasts.  Start with something like, “We will enjoy five screen-free family meals a week.” 
 
– Arlene Pellicane, MA, author of Screen Kids and host of the “Happy Home” podcast 
 
5. Focus Your Full Attention on Your Child

When interacting with your child, try to focus your full attention on them. When you come home from work or walk in the door from food shopping, it’s best not to be in the middle of texting or talking on your phone. Kids learn from their parents’ behavior and more often than not, it’s monkey-see-monkey-do. The way you greet your children is going to be the way they greet you.
 
– Pamela Hurst-Della Pietra, PhD, Founder and President of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development
 
6.Turn Off Other Digital Devices

A key study in how technology impacts our behavior that has been replicated several times is the “iPhone effect.” Quite simply, it shows that if we have a digital device in our line of sight, even if switched off, it will impact our IQ and empathy negatively. Over the festive period, think of how that might impact you and your family during social times. For example, when watching television together try to only have the TV on and no other devices in line of sight. This might be hard at first, so introduce it in small doses and have a fun reward e.g. popcorn at movie night.
 
– Chris Flack, co-founder of UnPlug
 
7. Plan More Off Screen Activities

Plan more device-free activities like movie nights or family outings. Create phone-free zones in your world including the dinner table. Don’t let your child spend more than 90 minutes on screen time without taking substantive breaks of at least 30 minutes (you can set timers and give them a 5-minute warning to stop screen use). If they continue without stopping, tell them that if they don’t turn off the screens they will have less than 90 minutes the next time, but don’t completely take away their devices! Detoxing from screens doesn’t work and just causes other problems. 
 
– Larry Rosen, Professor Emeritus CSU Dominguez Hills and co-author of The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World 
 
8. Set Aside Reading Time

Set aside one evening a week for reading time after dinner. Buy books or borrow books from the library that will interest your children. Unplug the modem and, without other options, books will become very attractive. Reading is a foundational and multisensory experience for children—from touching the paper, to picturing what is being written about, to building the self-control to stay focused on the written page. 
 
– Arlene Pellicane, MA, author of Screen Kids and host of the “Happy Home” podcast 
 
9. Look Beyond the Pandemic

As children return to school, many parents are looking for ways to dial back their children’s use of digital technology and social media. To do this, MARC research suggests that the most effective method is to discuss with your kids how screens were integral during the height of the pandemic, but now that life is beginning to settle into a more normal routine, it’s time to reconsider and discuss new family technology rules. Then do it. 
 
– Elizabeth K. Englander, PhD, Executive Director, Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center, Bridgewater State University.
 
10. Try A Family Book Club
Book clubs aren’t just for adults. Try a family book club – you pick a book one month, your child the next. (The “host” selects the refreshments!) For younger children, you or your child can read aloud. Whether you use print or digital books is your choice. What matters is that you both do the reading and then share together.
 
– Naomi S. Baron, Professor Emerita of Linguistics at American University and author of How We Read Now: Strategic Choices for Print, Screen, and Audio
 
11. Create A Regular Digital Sabbath
You might choose one day each weekend to unplug, or one weeknight evening. You could do a YouTube free week, or a video game free month. Create these as challenges for your kids (and you can participate, too, as parents). It’s a great way to test who might be addicted to various forms of screen time in your home. Once you complete a challenge successfully, celebrate with a special meal or a non-digital toy. Repeat challenges throughout the year, not as a punishment, but as a way to recalibrate and keep your kids healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically.  
 
– Arlene Pellicane, MA, author of Screen Kids and host of the “Happy Home” podcast 
 
12. Determine A Digital Curfew
As a family, determine the time when devices need to be switched off each night. A minimum of 60 minutes before sleep time is recommended to ensure that sleep quality and quantity aren’t impacted by blue light exposure. Have a specific ‘landing zone’ where digital devices go at night for charging and storage (a kitchen counter, study area, sideboard).
 
– Kristy Gooodwin, PhD, researcher, speaker and author of Raising Your Child in a Digital World
 
About Children and Screens
Since its inception in 2013, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, has become one of the nation’s leading non-profit organizations dedicated to advancing and supporting interdisciplinary scientific research, informing and educating the public, advocating for sound public policy for child health and wellness, and enhancing human capital in the field. For more information, see www.childrenandscreens.com or write to info@childrenandscreens.com.

“All of the research and statistics overwhelmingly demonstrate that children need both parents fully engaged in their upbringing and lives,” explains Dr. Joel N. Myers, founder of Dads’ Resource Center, an organization that provides help for separated or divorced fathers. “Our culture desperately needs to reset in a way that reemphasizes fatherhood. It is a disservice to our mothers and fathers, and most importantly to our children, when fathers are kept out of the equation.”

One way that people can improve their healthy coparenting skills is to practice mindfulness. Those who practice mindfulness are more focused on the here and now, instead of being caught up in the emotions of what happened before and what might happen in the future. They are also less reactive and tend to have less stress. A study published in the August 2021 issue of the journal Family Process looked at how mindfulness impacts coparenting. Their research showed that increasing mindfulness can promote meaningful change within the family system and can lead to improvements in coparenting and parent-child interactions.

According to Myers, there are six signs of healthy coparenting:

Kids come first. The most important part of coparenting is that both parents agree that the child comes first. The relationship that the parents have that point is to ensure that they do their best for their child. A healthy sign of coparenting is seeing both parents attend an event for the child, where they are near each other, even if they are not together.

Parents agree. While parents may not see the same way on everything, Myers says, coparents need to agree on the major issues. These include discipline and health. If both parents are on the same page about major issues it will go a long way toward avoiding controversy, and will help the child know their boundaries.

Flexibility is allowed. Having set schedules can help with predictability, but there should be room for unplanned events – a family visit from out of town, for example. Demonstrating flexibility is healthy for children because it shows them that people can compromise and will work together.

Respect is shown. Healthy coparenting means being courteous to one another in front of the child. The kids learn how to treat others by what their parents do. If parents treat each other with respect, that teaches the child to treat others with respect as well.

Kids get time. Both parents need to have time with the child, Myers says. Far too often, one parent will try to get most of the time, leaving the other parent with very little. While this may feel like success, because it’s punishing the other parent, it’s not. It’s the child who is being punished and will suffer.

Communication is key. Healthy coparenting requires there be an open line of communication. Parents need to communicate with each other, and kids need to have constant access to both parents, just as they would if everyone lived under the same roof.

“Parenting is a two-person job,” says Dads’ Resource Center Executive Director Jeff Steiner. “Even in a separated family, both parents should view the other parent as an equal partner in the upbringing of their children. More than anything else, children want and need both of their parents actively engaged throughout their childhood to have the best chance to be successful in life.”

For more about the Dads’ Resource Center, click here.

Drawing on a wide variety of research, the panelists will discuss how families can combat obesity, encourage an active lifestyle both on- and off-screen, minimize the impacts of commercials, and make informed nutritional choices. In addition, the panel will explore how screens and digital media can be used to make exercise fun for children and adults of all ages. RSVP here.

1. GET ACTIVE

There’s a big difference between physically active screen time and sedentary screen time, and it’s important for parents to keep this distinction in mind when regulating their children’s video game play. “Active video games, or exergames, offer innovative, engaging, and accessible exercising alternatives to children with comparable beneficial effects, especially during the pandemic when access to outdoor and indoor facilities can be restricted,” says Amy S. Lu, PhD, Associate Professor and Director of the Health Technology Lab at Northeastern University in Boston. Lu suggests that parents participate in these kinds of games with their children when possible, both in order to reinforce the value of exercise and to help ensure that their kids get the most out of the activity. In addition, parents can take advantage of this gaming opportunity as gateways to introduce children to actual sports. They can start by explaining the rules and plan with their children about potential future participation in these sports.

2. MAKE A PLAN

It’s important for families to have open discussions about healthy boundaries when it comes to digital devices. “Parents should regularly talk to their children about screen usage and develop a family media use plan,” says Jason Nagata, MD, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco. “This could include setting limits and encouraging screen-free time. “These limitations should be based on the child’s age and development,” adds Kyle T. Ganson, MSW, Assistant Professor, Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work, University of Toronto, “and can be jointly created with the child, and as a family, to ensure buy in.” Both Nagata and Ganson agree that once these rules are set, it’s essential for parents to follow them, as well, in order to model healthy, appropriate behavior for their children.

3. SET A ROUTINE

When it comes to encouraging healthy habits, routines can be a parent’s best friend. “Kids need routines that encourage physical activity and limit the behaviors that disconnect them from it,” says Jill Castle, MS, RDN, author of The Smart Mom’s Guide to Healthy Snacking and founder of The Nourished Child®. “Mealtimes and regular snacking intervals are powerful allies for parents who want to raise physically active, well-nourished kids. Not only do they sustain a child’s energy for play or activity, they can also cover appetite cues and nutrient needs, curtailing excessive or mindless eating.”

4. GET INFORMED

While more than 20% of children and adolescents in the US are currently dealing with obesity, the condition remains greatly misunderstood by many families. “Obesity is a multifactorial disease in how the brain regulates weight,” explains Fatima Cody Stanford, M.D, an internationally renowned obesity medicine physician and scientist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. “It’s highly heritable, with a 50-80% likelihood, which means that if parents have obesity, children will often also have it, even with an optimal lifestyle.” That said, Dr. Stanford recommends that all parents ensure their kids engage in plenty of physical activity, receive adequate sleep, and focus on a quality diet of lean protein, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. “If lifestyle measures are inadequate,” she counsels, “consider care with a multidisciplinary comprehensive team in which medications or surgery might be considered.”

5. REMEMBER: THE WHOLE DAY MATTERS

By now, we all know that plenty of habitual physical activity, limiting extended sitting and screen time, and preserving adequate sleep, promotes health and prevents disease. “While these ‘movement behaviors’ are typically considered separately, a growing body of evidence suggests that the composition of these behaviors is most powerfully related to health,” says Mark Tremblay, PhD, FCSEP, FACSM, FCAHS, Senior Scientist, Healthy Active Living and Obesity Research Group and President of the Active Healthy Kids Global Alliance. “In other words, healthy movement behavior trade-offs throughout the 24-hour day that result in children moving more, sitting less, and sleeping well promotes optimal health in a fashion that can be individualized for every child.”

6. BE MINDFUL

Though the lack of physical activity may be the most obvious concern, too much screen time can also lead kids to engage in mindless snacking and make poor food choices, which is among the many reasons that the AAP recommends fewer than two hours of non-school screen time for children each day. “If you struggle to reduce screen time, try to incorporate physical activity into that time,” says Rachana Shah, MD, Medical Director of the Healthy Weight Center at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “Follow along with dance or exercise videos, play interactive video games, or watch while exercising (for older children and teens).” Shah also recommends avoiding eating in front of screens (“If you want a snack, turn off the show and come to the kitchen”) and suggests providing appealing alternatives to screens like books, toys, and art supplies so that devices aren’t the default.

7. TRANSITION TO THE REAL WORLD

One way to help kids to engage in more physical activity is to encourage them to transition their digital stories into real world experiences. “As parents, we can build on the stories children engage with onscreen by having them physically act the events out in real life,” says Laura Bellows, PhD, Associate Professor, Division of Nutritional Sciences, Cornell University. “For young children, hopping over an obstacle, balancing on one foot, or crawling under something helps develop gross motor skills and encourages kids to use their imaginations. Adding descriptions to their movements like high/low or heavy/light can build vocabulary as well as assist kids in learning the different ways their body moves.” Bellows recommends using these movements when you’re on a walk in the neighborhood or when you need to redirect their focus (such as away from the candy during checkout at the grocery store!).

8. CUT THE COMMERCIALS

Beyond the sedentary lifestyle and mindless snacking it encourages, screen time also exposes kids to advertisements for unhealthy foods and sugary drinks. Erica Kenney, ScD, MPH, Assistant Professor at the Harvard Chan School in its Department of Nutrition, recommends parents both limit their children’s exposure to these commercials and help them learn to be more savvy about the ads they do encounter. “First, use subscription streaming services for your children’s screen time instead of traditional TV or streaming with the cheapest subscription level, as most services offer a subscription level that will help you avoid ads altogether,” she suggests. “Second, when your children do see ads or product placements in a show, don’t be afraid to engage with them and encourage them to think about how that ad is trying to get them to buy something. Lastly, if your child is old enough to be on social media, check with them about whether they are ‘liking’ or otherwise engaging with food and beverage brands on social media and encourage them to disengage.”

9. PRACTICE PARTICIPATION

Getting your kids involved in making good food choices and preparing their own meals early on will help them learn what goes into a healthy diet (proteins, fruits, and vegetables) and contribute to the development of positive habits they can carry for the rest of their lives. “If you can only make one change, eliminate sugar-sweetened beverages like soda, sports drinks, juice, boba, and fancy coffee shop drinks,” says Cori Cross, MD FAAP, Pediatrician, AAP Spokesperson, American Academy of Pediatric Council on Communications and Media and Co-Founder of Fit to Play and Learn Obesity Prevention Curriculum. “Although these beverages are okay occasionally or on special occasions, when consumed on a regular basis they are highly correlated with obesity.”

10. KEEP IT FUN

One of the biggest challenges for parents is finding ways to make exercise as fun and appealing to kids as television and video games. “The first step is getting them involved in the activity selection process,” says Melissa Halas, MA RDN CDE, Dietitian and CEO of SuperKidsNutrition.com. “After all, not every child wants to play community soccer. But it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy swimming, biking, hiking, tennis, or dance. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask!” Once your child has shared their passions with you, parents can use those activities to reinforce positive food habits. “Frame nutritious options as power fuel to become stronger, faster, and more agile athletes or performers,” says Halas. “Ideally, half of their plates should be fruits or vegetables, whereas the remaining may combine whole grains and lean proteins.” However, she warns, it’s important to avoid associating food as a reward for physical activity, as that implies that exercise is a consequence of food indulgence rather than a hobby to enjoy, and the goal is to keep physical activity fun and exciting for kids.

ABOUT CHILDREN AND SCREENS:
Since its inception in 2013, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, has become one of the nation’s leading non-profit organizations dedicated to advancing and supporting interdisciplinary scientific research, informing and educating the public, advocating for sound public policy for child health and wellness, and enhancing human capital in the field. For more information, see www.childrenandscreens.com or write to info@childrenandscreens.com.

  
1. STRUCTURE AND SUPPORT
 

Building resilience requires more than just a positive attitude; it takes confidence and self-esteem. “When kids are going through tough times, they need to feel the support of their family, their school, and their community in order to avoid succumbing to anxiety and depression,” says Michael Ungar, PhD, author of Change Your World: The Science of Resilience and the True Path to Success. Ungar recommends providing children with plenty of structure and clear boundaries, as well as inviting them to take on responsibilities, such as helping to cook, going grocery shopping, or looking after the family pet.
 

2. MAKE THE SCREEN SOCIAL
 

Studies have shown that high amounts of screen time in young children may be linked with reduced social-emotional competence, in part due to the resulting decrease in parent-infant play. “Parents socially interacting with their baby in positive ways is the best way for them to gain social-emotional skills, because real social confidence and learning to regulate one’s emotions come initially from interactions with others that the child feels safe with,” says Ming Wai Wan, PhD, Lecturer and Co-Director of the Perinatal Mental Health and Parenting Research Unit (PRIME-RU) at the University of Manchester, UK. While excessive screen time is problematic, moderate screen time can be healthy for young kids, especially if the screen is used for social interaction. Parents can co-view content with their children, ask questions or express emotions about what’s happening on screen, and reference back to the content while engaging in daily real world activities. “This sharing in its various forms not only helps infants make sense of their world,” says Wan, “but it also helps create ‘common ground’ for conversation and even rituals and routines, which boost social and emotional understanding.”

3. STRESS THE POSITIVE

While we may automatically think of stress as a bad thing, the reality is a little more nuanced. Stress is an inherent part of life, and learning to optimize our response to pressure and stress can offer better results than simply (and futilely) trying to eliminate it. “In a recent study, students in a mathematics course were taught about the adaptive benefits of stress responses (e.g., increases in peripheral blood flow mean the brain has more oxygenated blood to use as fuel),” explain Jeremy P. Jamieson, PhD, Associate Professor at the University of Rochester; David S. Yeager, PhD, Associate Professor at the University of Texas-Austin; and Alia Crum, PhD, Assistant Professor at Stanford University. “When the stress they experienced was valued as a resource that could fuel achievement, students exhibited reductions in mathematics anxiety, improvements in exam scores, and greater course completion compared to a control group.”

4. BUILD TRUST
 

“Resilience is the ability to navigate change and come through it the kind of person you want to be,” says Deborah Gilboa, MD, Clinical Associate Professor of Family Medicine and resilience expert. “Teaching our kids to navigate the ever-changing internet is a great opportunity to build resilience.” Gilboa recommends giving children the opportunity to prove their trustworthiness by rewarding them (with praise and privileges) when they come to you with anything suspect they find online. Parents can even create a contract that spells out clearly what kind of content kids should bring to them, as well as what the positive consequences for doing that will be.

5. PUT IT IN A LETTER

When children come to parents with negative thoughts, we’re often quick to respond with things like, “Oh, you’ll do fine!” What’s even more helpful, according to Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist, editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind, and author of 13 Things Strong Kids Do, is teaching children to do this for themselves. One of the best ways parents can teach self-esteem is to encourage their kids to write themselves a kind letter. “It might be a short note that essentially says, “You’re doing a great job’ or ‘You’ve been through tough times before and you can get through this, too!’” says Morin. “When they’re having a rough time, they can turn to their own words for a little boost in encouragement.”

6. GO FOR THE GOAL

When it comes to character development, it’s essential for parents to see their children as individuals, and to listen to them and validate who they are and what they want to do. “One way to affirm children’s strengths is to encourage them to create vision boards,” says Lisa B. Fiore, PhD, Professor & Chair of Education and Director of the Child Homelessness Initiative at Lesley University. “Setting goals is a critical component of future-thinking, and children who have goals that stem from their own intrinsic motivation tend to find deeper energy reserves than children who feel forced to complete a task imposed by others.”

7. NO COMPARISON

It’s been a hard year for everyone, and when children feel like they’re falling behind in comparison to others, it can be very discouraging. “Help children instead focus on their own progress and how far they’ve come,” says Allison Master, PhD, Assistant Professor, University of Houston. “Everyone is on their own journey, facing their own challenges, and the most important thing we can do is rise to the next challenge on our path.” If a child says, “I can’t do it,” remind them that that only means they can’t do it yet. With your support, they’ll figure it out.

8. SAFETY FIRST

Teenagers often spend a lot of time online, and it can be difficult for parents to know when their digital communications cross the line into controlling or problematic behavior. “If your child seems very anxious or worried when they receive a message from a peer or must respond immediately, this should raise possible concerns,” says Christine Barter, PhD, Professor of Interpersonal Violence Prevention, Connect Centre, University of Central Lancashire, UK. Barter and young researcher Charlotte Cooper recommend that parents support their children’s online interactions through empowering them to navigate their online interactions safely. Parents can suggest their teens look to mutual friends, both online and off, for any previous warning signs, and encourage their teens to utilize FaceTime to make sure the person on the other end is really who they say they are.

9. NURTURE GRATITUDE
 
Gratitude, entitlement, and indebtedness are all reactions to receiving something from others. What separates these reactions is the meaning we make out of the gifts we receive. “Children, like adults, use their thoughts and feelings to make meaning out of gifts,” says Andrea Hussong, PhD, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “Gifts that children see as given without strings or expectations are more likely to lead to gratitude, especially if they are linked to positive feelings.” To explore how children are making meaning out of the gifts in their lives, Hussong recommends that parents ask their kids how receiving a gift, online or off, makes them feel and why.
 
10. LEARN FROM THE PAST
 
Being of upstanding character isn’t just about doing the right thing, it’s about learning from doing the wrong thing. “Asking your child to think about how they could act differently next time can help them avoid making the same mistake twice,” says Allegra Midgette, PhD, Postdoctoral Fellow, Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “By talking about and asking what your child considers past regrets, you can encourage them to learn and plan together about what would work to prevent such situations from happening again.”
 
11. BE CURIOUS, NOT CRITICAL
 
Social media may have the most to offer—and present the most risk—for kids who experience marginalization in their in-person networks. Parents can be curious without being intrusive or critical when discussing online friendships with kids, asking respectful questions such as: “What do you admire about them?” “What’s the best advice you’ve gotten from them?” “How can you support them when they’re having a bad day?” “How do they support you?” “Who do you think is the best role model of your friends?” “In what ways?” “Have you ever had to stop talking to or being friends with someone online?” “What led up to that?” “These questions offer opportunities to reflect with kids about qualities of positive friendships, show appreciation and interest in their friend circles, and open a door to talk about hard things,” says Melanie Sage, PhD, SUNY at Buffalo School of Social Work. “Tone is important, and the way parents ask questions will encourage or discourage future conversations.”
 
ABOUT CHILDREN AND SCREENS:
Since its inception in 2013, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, has become one of the nation’s leading non-profit organizations dedicated to advancing and supporting interdisciplinary scientific research, informing and educating the public, advocating for sound public policy for child health and wellness, and enhancing human capital in the field. For more information, see www.childrenandscreens.com or write to info@childrenandscreens.com.

PARENTS HAVE THE POWER

Setting limits on screen use—both in regards to content and time—can be a powerful protective factor for children. In one longitudinal study of over 1300 families, we found that children whose parents set screen limits at the beginning of a school year ended up getting more sleep and better grades, had a lower risk of obesity, showed less aggression, and demonstrated more positive and prosocial behavior. Parents might not realize what a profound effect they’re having on their kids, which can make them feel powerless about their children’s media use, but the data show that setting clear limits is beneficial across a wide range of health and wellness indicators. – Douglas A. Gentile, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Iowa State University, and co-author of Game On! Sensible Answers about Video Games and Media Violence

TRADE THE BEDROOM FOR THE FAMILY ROOM

Tweens and teens are spending an incredible amount of time alone in their bedrooms right now, which means they’re away from the rest of the family and may feel they have carte blanche when it comes to their digital behavior. Make a rule, starting now, that screens are no longer allowed in the bedroom—period. Two things will happen: (1) your child will spend less time on their devices and more time with you, and (2) your child will become less likely to encounter inappropriate internet content. Remember, bedroom starts with the word “bed,” which means it’s a place to sleep, and family room starts with the word “family,” which means it’s a place to share quality time with the ones you love. – Tom Kersting is a Licensed psychotherapist and the author of the brand new book, Disconnected: How To Protect Your Kids From The Harmful Effects Of Device Dependency

QUIT BEING A HYPOCRITE!

Children love to point out when we slip up, and when it comes to tech overuse, they’re right to do so. After all, you can’t tell your kids to stop playing Fortnite while you’re busy checking Facebook. The best thing parents can do for their children when it comes to screen time is model good behavior, which means taking steps to become “indistractable.” Let your kids know what you’re doing to manage screen use in your own life, and don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and show them that you face similar challenges with technology. The more you talk with your kids about the costs of too much tech use, and the more you make decisions with them, as opposed to for them, the more willing they’ll be to listen to your guidance. – Nir Eyal, former Stanford Lecturer and author of Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

ALL ABOUT THE BOUNDARIES

Managing screen time is all about managing boundaries. Make sure you designate chunks of the day—during dinnertime, for instance, and the hours before bed and after waking up—as “no screen” periods. Boundaries shouldn’t just be about time, though; try to keep parts of your home, like the bedroom, screen free, as well. If you absolutely need to have a computer or TV in the bedroom, don’t use it in the hour or two before going to sleep. The bluish light tells our brains that it’s daytime, which means we’re inducing jetlag every time we use our screens late at night or when we should be asleep. – Adam Alter, PhD, Associate Professor of Marketing, Robert Stansky Teaching Excellence Faculty Fellow, NYU Stern School of Business

GIMME A BREAK

Social media can have a negative impact on self-esteem, especially in kids and teens, as it allows us to hide behind screens and present the lives we want others to think we have. We often see pictures of vacations, fun activities, and photoshopped bodies, which can lead to unwelcome comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. It’s important for you and your children to recognize your triggers for turning to technology, and it’s essential to take breaks if you find yourself getting upset, writing rude comments, thinking negative thoughts, or garnering happiness from others’ pain. Turn off your phone, TV, and computer for an hour a day and use that time to enjoy a screen-free activity like talking with your family, going for a walk, or reading a book. – Kimberly Hershenson, NY-based psychotherapist, LCSW

BE A DO-GOODER

One of the best ways to inspire the positive use of social media networks is to encourage your child to be an advocate for the causes they believe in (or, to use a less cool term not quite passable with kids ages 11-16, a “do-gooder” AKA DOGO). Be mindful of what you’re posting and sharing as a parent and mentor, and make sure that you’re continually educating yourself on ways to be a better social advocate online. It’ll benefit you personally and your child indefinitely. – Dr. Lisa Strohman, JD, PhD, Founder of Digital Citizen Academy

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Allowing a set time for your child’s technology use in the morning and evening will help them get it out of their system and move on with the rest of their day. At home, be sure to have tech-free times (dinner, for example) and tech-free spaces (like the bedroom), and when the phone isn’t in use, make sure your children put it away. Out of sight, out of mind! – Dr. Daria J. Kuss, Associate Professor in Psychology, Nottingham Trent University, UK

KNOW YOUR LIMITS

It’s entirely legitimate for parents to set limits on safe Internet use for their children, both for their physical and mental health. Make sure your children take frequent breaks from their screens, and join them for regular off-line activities, too. In order to limit distractions, parents should keep an eye on the number of apps with active push notifications on their children’s devices, and they should make sure that any notifications are silenced at night in order to promote restful sleep. Keep an eye out for warning signs like a reversal in your child’s sleep-wake rhythm, recurrent headaches, or increased online time at the expense of their usual interests. – Dr. Sophia Achab, MD, PhD– In charge of facility treating Internet-related disorders ReConnecte at University Hospitals of Geneva- Lecturer at Faculty of Medicine, University of Geneva, Switzerland

NO SUBSTITUTES

When two people feel safe and cared about in the presence of each other, their bodies release specific neurochemicals in the limbic portion of the brain. This experience of limbic resonance keeps us feeling regulated emotionally and physically, and there’s unfortunately no digital substitute for it. While COVID-19 means young people are communicating online more than ever, research has shown a correlation between excessive screen time and depression, which means that it’s imperative for parents to prioritize family time without screens. Encourage your children to be a part of the conversation about values and health, and allow them to help develop the rules around screen use at home. If they feel that you want to spend time with them, are interested in their perspectives and experiences, and are willing to negotiate (within certain non-negotiable boundaries), then your teens will turn to you more and more to meet their social needs. – Dr. Hilarie Cash, Co-Founder and Chief Clinical Officer of reSTART Life, PLLC, the first residential treatment facility in the US designed to treat Internet and video game addicts, founded in 2009

LOG OFF AND LISTEN

It’s normal for kids to feel angry, bored, or sad, but if you comfort your children with screen time whenever they’re in a bad mood, they’ll never learn to cope with those emotions in a natural way. Instead, they may get used to—or even addicted to—their devices. Rather than hand your child a screen next time they’re in a bad mood, find out what’s bothering them and see what you can do to help change that. Sometimes, all you need to do is show your child that you care and give them a hug. – Hans-Jürgen Rumpf, PhD, Associate Professor at the University of Lübeck, Germany

STAY CONNECTED

Screen time can be a useful way to maintain social connections when we can’t be face-to-face with our friends and loved ones. For instance, virtual sleepovers, watch parties, and multiplayer online games are all great ways for children to remain connected with their peers. Not all online interactions are equal, though. Mindlessly scrolling social media feeds or playing hours of video games alone or with strangers, for example, won’t make your child feel more connected; in fact, these activities may actually increase children’s feelings of isolation. So, keep an eye on how your child uses their screen time, and be sure to guide them towards activities that increase their feeling of connectedness with friends and family. – Kira Bailey, Assistant Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, Ohio Wesleyan University

GET HELP

Many parents experience difficulties in handling their children’s digital media use. You may find that your child gets angry if you try to reduce their screen time, or you may feel helpless about how to handle the situation. If you notice that screen use is becoming a permanent and troublesome issue with high levels of distress, it might be helpful to talk to a professional. Don’t be afraid – seeking help is a normal and healthy thing to do! – Hans-Jürgen Rumpf, PhD, Associate Professor at the University of Lübeck, Germany

GET INVOLVED AND PARTICIPATE

Children often spend their time online when they are alone. While this can of course be a consequence of normal daily routines, it’s still especially important to monitor what our children are doing when online. Instead of (or besides) monitoring, however, it might be even better to get involved and participate in your child’s online activities; i.e. watching videos or playing video games together. Sharing these activities would not only make it possible to track what they are doing, but more importantly to spend time with them, to get familiar with the games they are involved in and understand their interest and motives in the online world. This could not only serve as a basis for further discussion on their online experiences, but it could also help in setting rules together for regulating their online Activities. – Dr. Zsolt Demetrovics, Professor of Psychology, ELTE Eötvös Loránd University, Budapest, Hungary; Editor-in-Chief, Journal of Behavioral Addictions

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, our devices were important parts of our daily lives, but now, it’s practically impossible to imagine getting through the day without them. That ubiquity can tempt parents to throw their hands in the air and give up on managing their children’s screen time, but the reality is that, especially for kids with developing brains, the dangers of technology addiction and over-reliance are real. We hope these thirteen tips can help you and your family avoid some of the negative impacts that come with excessive screen use, and guide you towards healthy, prosocial ways to balance technology and family life in the days, months, and years to come.

About Children and Screens

Since its inception in 2013, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, has become one of the nation’s  leading non-profit organizations dedicated to advancing and supporting interdisciplinary scientific research, enhancing human capital in the field, informing and educating the public, and advocating for sound public policy for child health and wellness.  For more information, see www.childrenandscreens.com or write to info@childrenandscreens.com

But that extra screen time – mixed with the screen time many children and teenagers spend on their own – brings with it the potential for serious eye strain.

Spending too much time in front of screens on computers, phones and tablets can lead to headaches, blurry vision, dry eyes and more. Gritty, scratchy, watery, or irritated eyes can be common because of all the digital devices people use these days.

And if things aren’t bad enough, even without this added time staring at computers, about one-fourth of children in the U.S. have a vision problem significant enough to affect their performance in school.

It’s not unusual for some children to spend hours staring at a video game screen, perhaps so caught up in the game’s action that they fail to notice or care about any eye discomfort that results.

Add several hours of online school, though, and eye strain becomes more difficult to ignore.

Parents can help their children alleviate some of the eye strain by making sure they do the following:

• Take breaks.

  To a certain extent, students won’t have control over this because teachers will decide when breaks happen during the school day. But ideally, they should follow a 20/20 rule; take a break every 20 minutes and look away from the screen at a distant object for 20 seconds.

• Choose the right lighting.

  The type of lighting used in the student’s work space can make a difference. Incandescent lights work better than fluorescent lights because they give off less glare. It’s also better if the light is placed over your shoulder than if it’s shining straight down on the screen because that will cause fewer reflections.

• Adjust the position of the computer.

  The computer monitor and the keyboard should be positioned to conform with the child’s size. Make sure the screen isn’t too high in the child’s field of view. A report by the National Institutes of Health suggests an adjustable chair is the best option to get height just right.

• Remind them to blink.

  Parents should remind children to blink when they spend a lot of time in front of a screen. That helps spread tears across the eyes, keeping the eyes lubricated and aiding in the prevention of dry eyes..

Even without all this added screen time, children often develop vision issues that hurt their performance in school and sports. Forty percent of children develop nearsightedness, he says, and it’s an even higher percentage for those who have a parent who is nearsighted. Studies also show that less time outdoors contributes to more nearsightedness progression.

In addition, reading difficulties and attention problems are often the result of eye muscle, visual processing, and function problems. Parents who feel that their child has a tougher time reading and comprehending than others should consider an eye health and vision exam for them. It’s possible through vision therapy to make life-changing and long-lasting improvements to their learning and confidence.

Dr. Jeff Kegarise, a board-certified optometrist and clinical management expert, is co-author with his wife, Dr. Susan Kegarise, of One Patient at a Time: The K2 Way Playbook for Healthcare & Business Success (www.theK2Way.com). He has lectured for many years on clinical disease, and his management methods were recognized by The Institute for Healthcare Improvement. Kegarise is a graduate of The Ohio State University College of Optometry.

1. Remember what this is…and what it isn’t: 

   Dedicated home schoolers have well established curricula, activities, and social networks.  Online learning platforms spend years creating formats that facilitate digital learning. Your children’s teachers were given weeks – possibly days – to move classes meant to be taught in person and with peers into a distance environment.  They have done this so that learning will continue, and your children will not lose ground, but nobody has ever done this on this scale before.  Be patient with the schools, teachers, and your children as we all figure this out.

2. Set a schedule…then feel free to break it:

   In school, your children follow routines and schedules that they know well.  Much of that may be pretty broken now.  You can help them adjust by setting clear times for working at school.  However, your children are not in school and other opportunities will come up.  Don’t let a rigid schedule prevent your children from exploring what they want to do, including relaxing.

3. Pay attention to the social situation:

   School is a social environment. In fact, a lot of learning in school is also connected to social interaction. A lot of that has been taken away from your children, and they need it.  Opportunities to connect them with their peers are important and will help their adjustment.
   

4. Ask teachers and school leaders what they need from you:

   You are probably used to a lot of schooling being handled by teachers and administrators. Now that the work they have planned is happening in your home space, there may be needs you haven’t thought of before that will assist.  Does your child have a space to work?  Does one child need more structure than your other child? Your children’s teachers will have ideas that you can implement at home.

5. Forgive each other…often:

   Teachers spent years in school, earned advanced degrees, and often have decades of experience in the classroom.  You don’t, and you have important things to do too.  You are not expected to do everything your life demands of you AND be a full-time teacher as well.  Both you and your children will get frustrated, and, at times, will take it out on each other.  You need to forgive yourself for not being an expert educator, and you and your children need to forgive each other for a situation none of you control.

Daniel Katz has been a member of the faculty at the College of Education and Human Services at Seton Hall University since 2002. He completed his doctoral work in curriculum, teaching and educational policy at Michigan State University. He was a high school English teacher in Hawaii where he taught at the Punahou School and at the St. Francis School. At Seton Hall he teaches courses on educational foundations, diversity, curriculum and English methods.

Professor Katz’ research focuses on new teacher induction and how pre-service education serves teachers as they enter their early careers. He is the past program chair for the special interest group on Research on New Teacher Induction at the American Education Research Association which helps shape the research agenda on new teacher support and assessment. His scholarly work also includes issues pertaining to teacher dispositions towards diverse learners and academic integrity in high schools.

Link to Dr. Katz’ profile: https://www.shu.edu/profiles/danielkatz.cfm

Link to the College of Education and Human Services: https://www.shu.edu/education/