Stop Being A Superwoman!

By Sherrie Campbell, PhD

Are you one of them?

You know – the ones who have 100 things to do and get them all done. We work hard and are totally  dedicated to fulfilling our marriage, parenting, career and friendship goals.

We’re superwomen. But there’s a problem.

On the upside it feels amazing to be successful and needed on all fronts. We have a great sense of identity, satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side many of us feel overworked, misunderstood and stressed.

Recognition is great, but the need for it can become a drug.

• Superwomen tend to strive for perfection in how they look, speak and work. They can be people-pleasers, too, always worrying about the other person’s happiness more than their own. The solution: learn to love yourself and to realize that you are valued as much for who you are as for what you do.
• Recognition is great, but the need for it can become a drug. The more you get, the more you want. Practice thinking well of yourself without seeking others’ approval. Be proud of who you are.
• Ask for help! Not many superwomen do this. They might not want to ask because of the fear that others can do it better than they can. Unfortunately, carrying a burden that’s way too heavy can lead to exhaustion and resentment. Start by asking for help in small matters, and work your way up to more major efforts.
• Don’t hesitate to say no. Superwomen often fear that they won’t be wanted or liked if they refuse a request. Learn to think of saying no as a way to share with the other person what you want or don’t want for yourself.
• Learn to express your vulnerability. Reveal your sadness, anger, fear and confusion. That doesn’t represent, as many worry, a loss of control. It’s a way to let people know you better and to understand and meet your needs.
• Take as well as give. Remember how good it feels to give, and let others have that same experience with you.

Superwomen love deeply, give generously and have a tremendous need for belonging and love. But they need to find the other side of themselves: to receive, follow and express their authentic feelings. Life will be much more fulfilling that way.