Dear Ms. Smith By Sally Franz HAL hates meI have an ongoing battle with technology. This perks up its ugly head when I attempt contact with the outside world. Exhibit A.Dear Ms. Smith,I thought I would get a jump on this contest and enter early. I like to be professional in these matters. Please see the attached forms for the Screenwriters Spring Showcase:1) My application (apologizes I can’t make the hyper-link jump, so I had to print it, fill it in and take a photo of it).2) My 14-page comedy screenplay “Life in the Turning Lane.”Most sincerely,Sally Franz PS A quick favor: Would you please send a short reply to this email? In the subject just say RECEIVED so I know that the technology gods are on my side with this and the attachments opened. Thanks. S_______________________________________________ Dear Ms. Smith,Argggg, the computer gods hate me. I checked the copy of my screenplay that I just emailed you and the computer sent you a draft with mark-ups, not my finished FINAL DRAFT.Do you recall the very first thing HAL the computer did in “2001: A Space Odyssey”? He killed off all the women. I am not one to dabble in conspiracy theories, but my computer hates me and is constantly looking for ways to sabotage me. Just saying.Final draft is on its way._______________________________________________Dear Ms. Smith,Again, most sincere apologies for sending you a working draft instead of the actual Final Draft of my screenplay. For some unknown reason (to me) I hit something that is now displaying every edit I have apparently ever made . . . in my life. So much for self-betterment seminars. I mean if gaffes are going to be held against one forever, what is the point of going on? But I digress.Here within, I am submitting the Final Draft form (second try) of my screenplay for the Screenwriters Spring Showcase. Sincerely, Sally Franz_______________________________________________________________ Dear Ms. Smith Please IGNORE/DELETE my three previous emails as I am not able to reach through my computer screen and throttle them aka wring their necks for insubordination and gross inaccuracies. And not for a lack of trying mind you.My computer went into open group edit format and took on a life of its own, spilling virtual red ink everywhere. There is more red ink on those 14 pages than the entire Red Sea. At this point of humiliation, I would usually just stop, crawl into a hole and/or move to another country. But with COVID . . . I can’t move and I have way too much free time.Ergo, this is my last try to give you a clean (no red ink) FINAL SCREENPLAY.Hope Springs Eternal, Sally Franz _______________________________________________Dear Ms. Franz,We only received this one email with your submission.We will get back to you with the contest results in three weeks. Ms. SmithThe Screenwriters Spring ShowcaseShare this: