What's Your Message?

By Terry Barnett-Martin, M.S., LMFT

March is Spiritual Awareness month, a time to gather the holiness within us and grow it. We are all connected by a common thread of spirit and humanity that runs through our souls. We each hold a piece of the big puzzle of life, and all of us are needed to complete the picture. God is both intimately close to us, and beyond measure in reach and love. We are extensions of God’s own love, and we each have a specific reason for being here. Put simply, our common purpose is to love ourselves and others to the best of our abilities. Our paths are all different, as are the gifts and talents we have to offer. When each of us aligns with our unique purpose, things tend to fall into place.

We are the chosen ones, all of us.

“To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected.” Henri Nouwen

We are all chosen and we are here at this time, in this place to do something specific, to share a message, to bring out the best in others, to serve in some way or another, the goal of love.

Life can get so busy and crowded that if you aren’t careful to carve out quiet time, it’s almost impossible to hear your own voice, feel your own heartbeat, and see your own path.

Where is your center, the place where you are strong and steady on your feet? Where is your ground? Stand on that, and it will balance and root you to your best self, to your soul. The truth is that you were born beloved and already perfectly you. To the extent that you were encouraged to be you and not just the reflection of those around you, you came to know and love yourself. However, even with the best of parents, family and community, you can get lost from yourself in an attempt to please or protect yourself from others, and that takes you on a road far from the best of your true self. It’s time to reclaim and cherish yourself, and know that you here for a reason.

A conk on the head and a near death experience showed me my own purpose and left me with a message to share. It was a sunny, cold January day in the Southern California mountains, where I was hiking up a steep and rocky mountain with a couple of friends. We had packed a simple lunch and planned to climb to a large boulder about 3/4 of the way up the slope, and eat as we took in the view. I can remember looking up to the boulder to gauge how far we needed to go, and then my memory gets fuzzy. I think we were about half way up the mountain when a large rock bounced down from above us and hit me squarely on the forehead. I never saw or felt it hit me, nor did I feel my body as it bounced down the mountain like a rag doll. The instant the rock hit, I was mercifully out of my body and onto a journey I will never forget.

I was immediately drenched in an indescribable light and felt an undeniable, unconditional love. My fear of death immediately disappeared as I conversed wordlessly with God, Spirit, Love. I knew I could remain there in profound peace and comfort, but I came to understand that if I chose to go back, there was something very important for me to do here. It was only minutes that I was gone, but it was enough time that I felt renewed and filled up. I decided without question to return. I came back that day with the words “There is something very important for you to do here”, etched on my heart. As time has passed, I have realized my purpose in surviving that freak accident was is to bring those same words to the people I meet.

So, I am saying this to you: There’s something very important for you to do here. You have a purpose and you don’t need a conk on the head to know the special message you have to share with others. When you give yourself time to be quiet and listen to your inner voice, the message will be waiting there. Messages, like purpose, often come from overcoming adversity. Whatever your struggles, they are the gateways to your wisdom, the training ground for your strength, and your inspiration for courage. Once you understand the meaning they have for you, you can let go of the struggles and hang onto the messages they have for you, then share the messages with others who might be facing similar pain or hardship.

You are here, now and always, to be uniquely and wholly yourself. No matter your circumstances, choose to be around people who support you and believe in your uniqueness. Gather around people who love you and bring out the best in you. And be that for others. If you aren’t sure of your purpose, look to those who need what you have to give the most, and they will show you which way to go. Gather your courage, take a chance, and reach out. Please don’t vanish into the crowd, trying to be like everyone else. The world needs the real you.

Let kindness in, don’t be suspect of it.

The world is both a wonderful and confusing place these days, and it’s often hard to know what and who to believe. So believe in yourself, take the time and space to know what you stand for and what matters most to you. To the best of your abilities, live focused on kindness and love above all else. Kindness is the true currency of life; it is available to all of us all the time. As much as possible, look for opportunities to extend kindness to others and let the kindness of others in. It changes everything.

Terry Barnett-Martin, M.S., LMFT is a relationship counselor in private practice in Southern California. She is an openhearted, intuitive practitioner and writer who is dedicated to helping people find the purpose and path in their life and relationships. For more about Barnett-Martin and her work, visit www.tendingfences.com and www.truepurposecounseling.com. Her book, Tending Fences: Building Safe and Healthy Relationship Boundaries, can be purchased from www.amazon.com and through major booksellers.