A Bedazzled Life

By Sally Franz

Bedazzling , for the un-initiated is when a garment of clothing is pierced with untold numbers of rhinestones in a myriad of colors: Think Liberace with a matching glittery piano. I mention this because last week-end I did a marathon of three back-to-back Craft Fairs. I came away with an absolutely huge bag, which was empty. At my age I am getting rid of dustables, ur, um, I mean collectables. And I probably have three of every item I saw.

There were bird feeders made from wine bottles, quilled ornaments. (Quilling is when you make tight spirals out of 1/6^th of an inch paper strips and then glue them into fanciful designs) and there were a plethora of items made from felted shapes.

I tried felting once. You basically take a special needle and shove loose yarn through a surface of fabric or even a Styrofoam block. The needle has barbs on it which seems to tie the fibers into a close dense blob. The better you are at it the more that blob looks like something. Did I mention that you jab a barbed needle through some fabric which you are holding. Not only did I regularly impale myself I also managed to shove yarn fibers into those wounds. “Ouch,” does not sufficiently cover that level of pain. The punch wound is one thing, removing the fibers is a whole other level of excruciating. If you have ever had the pleasure of ripping out your own stitches, you get the picture.

There were stacks of jars filled with jam, twinkle lights and dried herbs, not all the same jar, mind you, at least at these three shows. There were bins of quilted, crocheted, tatted and woven winter wear. There were wreaths made of anything and everything a glue gun can manage. Oh, an aside to anyone who saw a craft and said, I can make that at home…glue coming from a glue gun is only a few degrees cooler than the surface of the sun.

I saw cutting boards, woven baskets, and lavender (bunches, potpourri, room spray, linen spray and oil). There were hot plate trivets made of metal jar lids covered with calico fabric, small stuffed animals, and wooden dishes with intricate patterns made by…well…electrocuting the wood.

There were handmade soaps, I think we call that artisan these days. I’ve made soaps before. Not much art involved in pouring melted soap into molds. But, yeah, okay, “artisan” soaps is probably good for an extra $1.00 a bar. I guess soap is a good gift because it disappears, eventually…in theory. But like so many usable gifts, I save them for company and company comes over maybe long enough to wash their hands 4 times a year. At that rate it will take 5 decades to get rid of that cute molded soap that looks like a typewriter.

There were edibles (it’s legal where I live. But alas, not that kind. There was honey, honey comb and beeswax twisted into candles and sculptures. There were Freeze Dried Mint Treats” don’t ask. There were gem stones, painted stones, and yes, rhinestones for bedazzling.

Sally Franz and her third husband live on the Olympic Peninsula. She has two daughters, a stepson, and three grandchildren. Sally is the author of several humor books including Scrambled Leggs: A Snarky Tale of Hospital Hooey and The Baby Boomer’s Guide to Menopause.